Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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