just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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