It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
