nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
