can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize