and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
