the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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