I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
