): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
