My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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