Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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