i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
