Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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