Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
