Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize