At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
