im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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