Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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