My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
