she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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