im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
