I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
