this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
