I can't watch pbs sober anymore
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
