I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
