You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
