we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
