I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
