if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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