Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
