Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
