just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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