is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize