I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
