is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
