just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
