I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
