bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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