Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
this is an emotional support booty call
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
