I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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