That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Randomize
