Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize