She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
