I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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