i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
