I want to have your abortion
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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