I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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