Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
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