Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
