exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
