We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I will pee on everything he values.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
