I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i out mim tonsoeep
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