Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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