so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
