I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
