White coat. Heels.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
