No subtext here. People are naked.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize