You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
