i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
