Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize