Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize