before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
